SF Counselor Talks About Grieving

by Ashley Kringen, Reporter
February 25, 2013 7:55 PM


Loved ones, co-workers and community members continue to mourn the loss of the Vollmer family.

When it comes to grieving, there are some recommended ways to do so to help alleviate some of the pain.

After an accident that took the lives of four people in a family of five in Sioux Falls, the horrific scene could be hard to block out of your mind.

Though, some counselors feel the focus, should not be on the fatal crash, but rather on whom Jim, Julie, Alysa and Caleb Vollmer were as people.

]"By doing that, you keep their memory and their spirit alive," said Vandebraak.

Mark Vandebraak, a grief counselor with the Avera McKennan Behavioral Center, encourages people mourning the loss of the Vollmer family, to think about positive memories of those lost as well as their accomplishments.

"More importantly we can focus on our moments today and the philosophical part is life is measured in moments, its not measured in years," said Vandebraak.

Which could also help people appreciate their individual lives and what they do have.

"The unfortunate part of life is that we never can know when our time comes," said Vandebraak.

Vandebraak also recommends people write down all memories that come to mind, to help keep the Vollmer's family's spirits alive and to remember their gifts.

If those memories create tears and sadness, Vandebraak said that's normal and necessary.

"Grief takes time, there's no magic fix, and there’s no magic pill that can be given that fixes it. We've got to experience it," said Vandebraak.

Avera Behavioral Health offers counseling for a variety of things, from grieving, to depression and anxiety.